The moment I finished pronouncing the accursed words, the world grew dark. No, it was already dark. The world grew darker than dark, as all light in my room faded away, with the only thing that remained visible being the shape of hellfire on the floor next to me.
Surrounded by papers with my notes, spinning up into a hurricane, a shape erupted from the hell portal. It was a distinctly female shape, yet so clearly inhuman that it almost felt like a mockery of the human form, if it wasn't so strongly, incredibly erotic.
"Ahh, at last... what is thy wish, my summoner?" the demon's voice rumbled in front of me, striking every single of my erogenous zones at once with her voice alone. I had to pause for a moment to come to my senses, before finally answering.
"I dunno. I was just cramming for the Latin exam tomorrow."
"...Satan's frozen balls, your pronunciation is horrible."
This mission was proving to be on a bit of a weird side, thought Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sure, at first it was like any mission. Diplomacy, politics, a random sword fight, more politics... but then this strange group appeared. The issue wasn't even in their actions, as they were perfectly friendly and even helped along in their own way.
No, the strange part was how the six reflected in the Force. Most beings had a rather simple presence, and even Jedi Masters and Sith Lords were normally quite monotone. A beacon of light, a gaping void, the like. But this was quite unprecedented, even when he compared it to all the weirdness he saw in his life.
One of the five was vaguelly normal at first glance. A darkened cloud in the Force, with a lightning storm raging inside. While strange in magnitude, it seemed the most normal, until he noticed that the storm wasn't chaotic. Each burst of lightning seemed precise, often hittin the same spots in the cloud many times in a row. It actually reminded Obi-Wan of what he'd read about how droid brains functioned. But then, the kriffing thing sometimes pulsed, as if releasing more life than it took in. Strange, but not too much.
The second presence felt like a wondorous beast, yet calm and collected like any mind. But with every passing moment, every tinge in the Force, the beast changed, and from what he felt, not once has a part of the presence repeated, always changing into something new, except for the calm mental presence behind it. Stranger, but still explainable.
The third presence was, for a lack of a better expression, like a sword. Sharp, and once again, endlessly changing, taking in normal, strange, and outright ridiculous shapes, ones which radiated many different motifs. One motif, though, was strangely common, one of Heroism. Even stranger.
The fourth presence seemed the most stable of the six, but even it changed, going between diminutive and giant, weak and strong, harmless and deadly at a moment's notice, as if at random. It was also, for some reason, green. Or was it emerald? Obi-Wan was never much for color theory. Either way, it was quite peculiar as well.
The fifth presence felt viscuous, simultaneously fluid and solid. It constantly rotated onto itself, parts of it moving forward, others back, forming strange, unreal curves in the presence. Though one part of it was fairly stable, that being the slight tinge of impatience. Obi-Wan never knew that the Force could bend in such a way, but it still paled in front of... in front of...
The sixth presence was the strangest one of them all. Obi-Wan had never, in all his life, seen or even heard of something like this. The Jedi Archives had some record of stranger Force auras, but this... this beat everything. How was he... How...
"Master, are you all right? You're strangely focused on her..." Anakin, his padawan, asked him in concern.
"No, everything is all right, Anakin. It's just that... nevermind. So where were we?"
No, he thought. He was not going to explain to Anakin that this woman's aura felt like a pair of bouncing breasts with nine fluffy tails poking out the backside, and that is final.